As of today

As of today, I’m closer to my goal of being a former fat fuck, than I have been before. This journey that has been a series of attempts, failures and improvements is nearing the presumptive end, as I look down on the scale. 218 lbs, 99kg, the first time under 220 lbs, 100kg, in 2 years.

When I started this journey, my goal was to be 220 lbs, as I’ve slowly crept closer to my goal, a new frontier emerged, 185 lbs, at 10% body fat. There was a time years ago where I had no idea how much I weighed, I had no idea about my health in general. I just enjoyed life, as I saw it, a lot of tv, a lot of food and a lot of soda. My weight started creeping up at the start of my teenage years, and as I grew older, my weight grew larger and larger until I found myself wearing 3XL shirts, and size 44 pants, at 26 years old.

My size seemed to stagnate at this level, a little north of 330 lbs, at 6 ft 2 inches. I spent most of my time sitting around, eating and watching various movies and tv-shows leading to an nearly encyclopedic knowledge of English speaking pop culture. I didn’t really want to lose weight, or rather I did not want to give up delicious food. Then as I was about a year away from finishing my bachelor degree, I was running out of money, and as a result I ended up eating a lot less. Thus, I lost the first 30 lbs that started this journey.

I didn’t do this knowing what I was doing, I just ate whatever I could afford, and let my body mass make up the difference.

Sure, I’d participated in some sports growing up, but most of the time I just ended up on the sideline watching people playing, rather than being an active participant. Field trips that involved physical exertion were skipped throughout my childhood, and it was almost as if I had a goal of not moving at all while growing up. The various books and interests I had in the intellectual world were just so much more interesting than the actual world.

While I was more than happy to play the role of “funny fat fucker” I secretly dreamed about being in shape, and thin, I just had no idea how to get there. So, as I found a job and started working after graduation, I also started working out for the first time in my life. As I’ve always hated cardio with a passion, I took up weight lifting following a bodybuilding split.

Since I knew nothing about diet, I read through many online forums about the topic, and adopted a classic bodybuilder diet of 50% carbs, 30% protein and 20% fat. I found myself slowly losing weight, and reaching 255 lbs, before the scale started to once more increase. Not wanting to grow back into my 3xl clothes, started cutting calories, ending up eating as little at 500 calories per day. Yet, my weight loss completely stalled, and I spent a few months hovering around 245 lbs, before crashing and ending up going off my diet.

A few months later, having gained back some of the weight, I started again with renewed vigor, this time I cut calories, I lifted 5 days a week, and every day I spent at least an hour walking. Finally, I got down to 238 lbs. Then, I fell off the wagon once more, after feeling lethargic, having no energy and having torn a deltoid and a pec lifting weights.

About this time I started a new job and a co-worker introduced me to low-carb high fat. I adopted this diet, and found myself dropping weight like I never had before. The first week I dropped almost 10 lbs and after about 6 months, I finally broke below 220 lbs for the first time since seventh grade.

I met a woman, ended up in a relationship and quickly found myself regaining most of the lost weight, engaging in the same behaviors that had brought me to 330 lbs in the first place. When the relationship ended about a year later and I weighed myself for the first time in a year, having gone from XL to double-XL, I was back at 257 lbs. This was about 8 months ago today.

Since then, I’ve lost a total of 37 lbs, having merged all the knowledge I know have of diet and nutrition. Having attempted just about every program and combination out there. From fasting to 6 small meals, from high carb low fat, to low carb high fat, bodybuilding diets built around high protein, to liquid diets built around no protein. I’ve also adopted a weight lifting program, built around the principles I’ve devised for how to combine extreme body fat cutting with high intensity training. Having tried programs from German volume training of 10 sets of 10, to powerlifting programs built around high weight/low volume. From 30 second rest pauses to 5 minute rests, from no cardio to high cardio. All those years of failed diets, failed workout routines, and flawed approaches were not actual failures, but learning experiences.

Now as I sit here, 3 months left until I reach my goal, buried in spreadsheets and workout logs, I look back at the journey undertaken, and center my eyes on the goal.




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